So, my break has been fabulous. I’m getting plenty of karate in (we did get snowed out a few times, but this is to be expected in New Hampshire in December), I’m reading and hanging out with the awesome people that make up my NH social circle and sleeping in and eating good food on my own eating schedule, thanks very much (which, for the record, involves random meals all somewhere between 9 AM and 11 PM, none of that ridiculous three meals a day nonsense), and basically life is good.

And I somehow also feel good about heading back down to DC; I’ll certainly miss home,  but you will not find me madly clinging to something in Boston Logan Airport and refusing to leave. Compounding my general feeling of non-stress is the fact that this time, unlike when I left for last semester, I actually know what to expect; the prospect of having classes for the next 3 months is not quite as unbelievably exciting, being as I’m now aware that classes = getting up early, heavy textbooks, and lots and lots of paper writing (woo), but at least I’ve got a very clear idea of what I’m going into, which as everyone knows is something that I’m very fond of having. I’ve also once again managed to save a bunch of money by renting my books ($204.20, to be exact), which is nice. That about covers it all—DC people, I will see you starting the 12th, NH people, you have 7 more days to catch up with me if you haven’t!

I just had my last training session at my dojo with two of my senseis. My dojo has just been the best possible place for me to grow up in, and my karate family is made up of the most awesome people you could find … I am so, so lucky to have had that, and I can only hope that the other places my life takes me will have people as amazing as the ones who are currently down the street from me, but who in a few days will become unbearably far away.

I’ve had a decent number of people ask me what it’s like to go back and forth between my parents’ houses, and whether I like that arrangement or not. But it’s one of those things that are hard to form an opinion on, because I’ve never done anything but that. I’ve had two houses since before I had a clear concept of what a house was. I’ve lived partly out of backpacks since I acquired stuff to put in them, I’ve had a split schedule to contend with for every sport, class, party, job and hang-out invitation. What’s it like to go back and forth? It’s like breathing, you just do it, you don’t think about it, you don’t remember when it became a part of you.

It strikes me, as I pack for college, that the experience of moving out of the house and going to live far away is probably pure upheaval for a lot of people. It’s partly that for me (I have, at least, lived in the same state for my whole life, with my same parents, so that’ll be a difference), but partly not; this will be the first time that I will actually live in one place for more than a week. It also occurs to me that all that transient-ness has probably left me better prepared than a lot of people with more typically-static lives—I’ve very good at packing up my stuff and going someplace else. But I’m also definitely looking forward to having a slightly less transitory existence, at least for a while. Maybe then I’ll actually be able to form an opinion on the back-and-forth thing.

I said the first set of many goodbyes tonight, as my junior classes let out for the summer. I said goodbye to my much beloved students, and then to my peers in the teens class. The adults class will run for another 6 weeks, so thankfully saying goodbye to my senseis will be put off until then.

Karate classes have been such a big part of how I define myself for the past 4 1/2 years, and particularly for the last 2, I’m not quite sure what I’ll have to say, the next time somebody asks what I’ve been up to lately. Who I am is the girl who’s at karate, Monday nights, Tuesday nights, Wednesday nights. I’m training my students, who are amazing, I’m in the teens class, training with people who I love to death. I’m working with and training under my sensei, which is an experience I wouldn’t give up for anything. And now, some hugs, some high fives, and a group picture later, that’s come to a close. My sensei said, “And let us bid a warm farewell to Olivia, and David, as they are leaving this year”, and that was that.

I am excited to have a largely blank slate, to be able to go into college and the next few years with the chance to re-forge my definition of myself, to allow new things and new people to make their way onto my list of things important to me. But I will still dearly miss the people and things that previously held top spots on that list. It’s been an awesome 4 years.

I just finished my last promotions at my karate dojo. I tested (some of) my students, shook their hands as they were promoted, helped with the demonstrations, and was once again reminded of what an amazing group of people I will be leaving behind when I leave for college this fall. Karate has afforded me a million fantastic experiences over the years; looking out over rows of happy, proud students (with their proud parents behind them), with new stripes and new belts, knowing what it took for them to get there, and being so proud of them for it, is another memory that I am so lucky to be able to take with me when I go out into the world.